Currently Listening Eye To The Telescope By KT Tunstall see related

Okay, so I leave here in like a week. Its sad and happy.  I wanna see all my friends and tell them all my stories, but I don't want to leave!!!  I love it here.  The classes are amazing!  I love every one.  The town is gorgeous and has some gorgeous 'architecture'.  I really love it. 

I feel like a different person, but still I know I'm the same old me on the inside.  I have proof.  My chicken ways have not gone away.  I still can not seem to make myself talk to people.  I can talk to some people in the dining hall, but I usually forgot to ask their names, whoops.  I have gotten better about introducing myself though I haven't made any really good friends outside of the brenau group other than bridgette who is here all by herself and got inducted into the brenau group if you will.

No but my talking skills still lack in 'some' areas.  Areas I have failed in all of my semi-adult life.  I hate being shy sometimes.  You never get to meet the people you really wanna meet.  The architecture is there, but I can't approach it.  I don't know why.  I am chicken.  Hear me cluck.

Okay, lets talk about stress. lol.  No there is way too much of it in my life for summer vacation!!  I have so much to do b4 I leave, which is in two weeks.  Two weeks from today.  AAAAHHHHH!!!  Okay I'm freaking out a bit cuz I have a TON of reading to do and I thought I was doing pretty good until I realized that I forgot about like 2 books I have to get read b4 I go.  Grrr.  And I just spent freaking $60 on more books.  And I still don't know if I will be prepared.  I'm really scared about it. 

My art class is my main worry at the moment.  They gave us lists of reference books usually with asterisks beside 2-8 that are "must reads" basically.  Yeah well my art list is 3 pages long and has NO asterisks.  So I have tried to figure out what to do and have come up with 2 conclusions: 1-that we have to read all of them 2-that its an art class and the material will be better presented actually in class than it can be read about.  So to try and satisfy a little of both scenarios I just tried to figure out what books looked important and looked at what my possible paper topics were(the paper is my grade for the course) and ordered like 2 books focusing on what I felt was important.  Well one has yet to arrive. fun. 

I'm sooo stressed!  I just feel like I have so much to do and basically no time to do it b/c on top of getting ready I have been away at the beach the last two weeks and today is my dad's birthday and I have plans to get together with friends the next couple of weeks.  I just feel a bit overwhelmed.  I'm trying to get everything done and enjoy my little time I have left here.  ahhgg. 

I'll be okay.  I'm just fretting right now.  and people are over and I'm not good with people I don't know.  And I'm suppose to know them.  I met them when I was like a year old.  I don't remember them.  I just know they exist b/c of home movies.  just another thing to worry about. gosh I sound depressed, but I'm not.  I'm really excited.  I'm just writing the emotion of the moment, but it will go away.  And now I'm rambling avoiding going upstairs to see the previously mentioned people.  arg.

ticked

Okay, I just have to get some stuff off my chest.  First of all I'm really hyper right now b/c I have been screaming at the tv for the last half hour during grey's anatomy.  Crazyiness.  Anyhoo, I just have to rant. 

Some people are really freaking rude.  Who the heck goes over to someone ELSE'S house and eat's their food, violates their privacy, and freaking destroys property?  And then who the heck lets them do all of the above??  I'm at my wits end with some people.  I don't wanna be a b word but I'm about to fuss these people out majorly. 

Person #1: go the heck away!!!  I'm so freaking happy when you are gone!!!  Also learn a little thing called RESPECT while your away!!  Other people's homes are not a place to come and freaking trash.  I don't care if you burned a freaking cardboard box, if it ain't yours don't touch it!  Also please keep your pants on!! I mean come on!!  I don't want to see that and you are not funny by doing so.  Ur just a jacka$$!

Person #2: Get some guts!!!  They treat you like crap and you are okay with this?  Also they treat other people like crap and ur okay with that too?  Give me a break.  I love ya to death, but I can't take this crap anymore.  I'm trying my best to solve this without going to higher sources, but your making it really hard.  Wake up and be the person I know is in there!!

Grrrrrr!!!!!

People can really suck sometimes!  I feel better now.  I'm gonna go and work out a real solution.  Or maybe I just worry about it tomorrow.  Procrastination!! I LOVE it!